$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
