i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
