Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
