i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
