I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
