I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
