The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
