I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I believe in your delicious
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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