I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
