Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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