i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
