If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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