YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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