In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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