man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
