I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
