I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
