We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
