belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
