Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
