just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
