went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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