Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
