why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
