i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm gonna fight the coyote
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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