She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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