So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
