I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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