Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
