dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
