come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
