I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
