No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just tell him i said nine months
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize