I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
