She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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