is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
