I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
