I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
