i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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