I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
