So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
