I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
