I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
