At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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