I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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