U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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