so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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