I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
