Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wear drunk well.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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