.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
