So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
