i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
