meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
