Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
