when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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