That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
