Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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