Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
