i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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