Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
