I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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