i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
