i barfeds in our rink
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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