is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
