The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
