Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
