Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
