let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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