tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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