honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
MIDGETS
????
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I touched a dick in church today
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
